It all started out from mass art commission. 3 paintings for one local restaeaunt, and some chalkbored work at the bar. Made like 180 dallars that week.....and man i was high off it, as in high from happyness. Never made this kinda of money in one week, all earned from hard work. Got to go to the big city aswell .......two times to be exact and man i was so free, blew that money rather quickly. Never been so free, its like all the worries of the world gone in a bliss of a shopping spree
Then this week hit, and before the family was having some paronoia problems. I suddenly, lost my happy high, and somehow somthing happened in my head. I want more money like this, how do i get money like this more often. I also wanted a new PC more then ever, i wanted school, i wanted to be free again. But money stops it all. Then the aunt thing hit hard, that i am still have to pay 2000 dollars for this 8 year old shit pc, and family became the enimy cause i have to give them 400 board cause the ontario dissability said i have to or i lose the support, everything eating at me over the years, boiled over and exploded. been mentaly unstable for almost a week now, wanting to taste the freedom again that i tasted last week.....and now i hurt family feelings, cause i vented. i upset my mom so much, that she didnt want to come home today......all i can think of is my future, new pc and money and its drivibg me insane
I wish i could transform into a mighty dragon and fly the world, to be free again.....
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So I vent, and all goes to hell......family about to tear eachother appert......mabie they be better without me.....go away bad thoughts -_-
Devious Comments
personally, i don't believe anything happens after this life - so if this is all there is, why cut it short? if you believe there is a heaven and hell - then killing yourself sends you to hell - again, why cut short your life? there is aboslutely no reason for suicide.
if people in your life are being retarded, get away from it all. go for a vacation (or maybe even move) at least a thousand miles a way, visit europe - see the cliffs of spain, try the wine and breads of france, gawk at the british wierdos with the messed up teeth, do what you've always wanted - i think you'll find yourself a lot happier than if you were to kill yourself : ).
so yes, go away bad thoughts!
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"...how many of you who sit and judge me have ever walked the streets of Bakersfield?" - homer joy
"They're not socks." Fieldy
~CrittersClub
prob gonna update journal on how this huge mood shift happened, from soooo sooooo happy to utter utter depression
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Member of ~Anti-yaoi-yuriclub
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Member of ~Anti-yaoi-yuriclub
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